I found Atlantis!

I found Atlantis!
It’s in my husband’s eyes.
It’s in the way he stares into my eyes the first time our eyes meet every morning when we wake up.
It’s in the way he caresses the side of my face with his knuckles when he tells me not to worry.
It’s in the way he crushes me in his big arms and tells me everything will be fine.

It’s in the silent reassurance of his strong hold that my nightmares are just those: nightmares.

And that in reality I had a soldier, and that soldier wasn’t going anywhere.

I found Atlantis!
It is in the beauty of our pain.
In the silent understanding that no matter how rough things get, we will never lose our greatest treasure.
Us.
It’s in those moments where things seem so hard that all we can do is sit down and laugh.
It’s in those numerous moments when we realize that we are down to nothing but still do not despair, because, hope.

I found Atlantis!
It is in my daughter’s eyes.
The way she looks up at me with those curious, big brown eyes.
Asking questions about everything.
It’s in the peacefulness of her sleep after she’s had a good meal, which isn’t often.
It’s in the way she wipes my tears away with her tiny hands.
It’s in her very existence.

I found Atlantis!
It’s in the serenity of the cemetery.
In the songs of the birds as the warm calm breeze caresses my face.
It’s in the feel of the sun against my skin; not harsh, just warm and welcoming.
It’s in the familiarity and unfamiliarity of pain as I put blade to flesh.
It’s in the relaxing feel of my blood running down my palms unto my son’s grave.
And the perfect feeling of my life draining out of my body.

I found Atlantis!
In death.

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